Things are getting crazy here. Today I’ve seen troops from:
I’ve also sent 29 work-related emails today, and it’s not even dinner time yet. I’ll be back in Germany in a few days, and back in the States in early January. See y’all!
Hi, lazy bloggist here. I haven’t written in a while, because not much has happened. I’ve been pretty swamped with work and and my own classes, both of which are rapidly drawing to a close. I should be leaving Camp Phoenix in a couple of weeks to head back to ol’ Bagram, where I’ll catch a flight to Dubai (one more country to check off the list), then to Germany.
Above is what’s called a “jingle truck.” You can probably figure out why they call them that. The internet connection here is pretty uncooperative generally, so I plan to post the rest of the photos I’ve taken once I get back to Germany.
I hope everyone had a swell Thanksgiving, and I’ll see you all in a few weeks!
I have a lot to catch up on here.
My replacement arrived at FOB Salerno last Monday morning, and within two hours I was able to catch a tiny plane to Bagram. I was prepared for another waiting game there, but I was actually able to get out within 24 hours. I did have to stay up all night waiting for a flight, though. I caught another small plane to Kabul International Airport in the wee hours of Tuesday morning, and then the fun started. I was supposed to call my point of contact at Camp Phoenix to arrange for transportation from KIA to there. But the phones at the airport were down. And I don’t have a cell phone here. So I waited. And waited some more. I asked around about ways to travel the short distance from KIA to Camp Phoenix. After about 4 hours I met a Lieutenant Colonel who called Phoenix and arranged for a convoy to come pick us up. There were about 12 other people stuck at the airport as well, all trying to get to Camp Phoenix. Finally a convoy arrived.
Convoys carrying personnel through Kabul generally work like this: There’s the Rhino (also called a Twinkie, assumedly because it’s tan and vaguely twinkie-shaped), which is essentially an up-armored Winnebago, with bus seats inside. Then there are the humvees; two in front and two in back, with gunners and everything. We all put on our body armor and helmets, got into the Rhino, and left the confines of the airport, which is a secured ISAF facility. We proceeded to tear ass through Kabul, flying around corners, blocking off traffic, and never stopping until we got inside the wire at Phoenix, which is about 5 miles away from KIA. Thus ended my action-packed 36 hours of travel with no sleep.
So I’ve been here for a week now, and I’m getting used to things. There was a lot of work to catch up on, 
since there was no Maryland field rep here for over a week. But things are basically smoothed out, and now I need to focus on my own classes. They’re requiring a lot more of my time as I approach finals week.
Also: new president. I am cautiously optimistic. I did allow myself to get a little giddy when I read the phrase “Obama administration.” This is the first election I’ve ever participated in where my candidate won. I’m proud of you, America. This is a pretty big deal. Now let’s not screw it up.
There is some sad news, though. My Aunt Sybil died yesterday afternoon. She introduced me to the books of Shel Silverstein at a young age, which I think was probably a big influence on who I turned out to be. I hope she knew that. It had been a few years since I’d seen her.
Y’know how, in the the temperate forest biome in which most of us live, before and after it rains, there’s that “rain smell”? The one that smells all fresh and full of life? In Afghanistan, that smell smells like dirt.
I’m all packed and ready for my move to Camp Phoenix, but can’t leave Salerno until Shpetim, my replacement, gets here. He left Kabul today, but he’ll probably get stuck at Bagram like I did, so I don’t really know when he’ll get here. I’m anxious to get to Camp Phoenix to meet up with my new Macbook Pro and, allegedly, my very own shipping container in which to live.
There are was an article about Dean Ween and his love of fishing in the Stars & Stripes this week. I thought that was odd. I wonder if my mom still mows the yard in my old homemade Ween t-shirt. Mom?
Another month! We made it through Ramadan and Eid without anything too dramatic happening here. Some folks expected a major attack. But it was pretty quiet.
I’ll be heading to Camp Phoenix on October 20th, which is pretty exciting. The bad news is that it’s not actually inside Kabul. It’s a few miles outside of the city, and it looks just like Salerno. And I doubt I’ll be able to actually get into Kabul proper. But it’s still a break in the monotony. And apparently I’ll have my very own shipping container to live in. I just realized I haven’t posted any photos of my living quarters here. I’ll get on that.
I’m a little bummed that I’m missing out on a proper Fall. It’s still a balmy 95 degrees or so during the day. Apparently it’s much colder in Kabul. It’s supposed to snow and everything. That might make getting out in December a little challenging.
Country stuportard Trace Adkins is coming to play a concert here at Salerno! Or he was! Or he came, and is here now, but is not playing because he’s leaving in a few hours! The FOB is abuzz with rumor. The strangest part for me is that this is the second time I’ve written a blog entry about this guy. On my old blog I wrote about running into him at Vanderbilt Medical Center one time. And I still can’t remember what songs he sings.
Why can’t anybody good ever do a USO tour? I guess all my favorite bands are liberal cowards who hate freedom. That, or the USO thinks that nobody would be too excited about Young Knives playing here. On the other hand, this place is pretty starved for entertainment. This might be the only situation where a band like that would get attention from this kind of crowd.
This has absolutely nothing to do with me, or Afghanistan, but it sure is… I don’t know. I have no idea why this exists.
Today marks the official halfway point for me. Halfway there, livin’ on a prayer, etc. My orders started on June 20th, and they end on December 20th. Things to expect in the second half of my time in Afghanistan include
There hasn’t been a lot to report recently. Things here at the FOB have been pretty quiet. Which is good. Time at work not spent working, or hounding people to chat with me on teh interwebz, is spent on homework for the two online classes I’m taking. I’m working on a Web Programming certificate.
I’ve been reading like a madman, and thanks to Mike, I have a ton of awesome books to read. So I’m working on those. I’m using Shelfari to keep track of them all, and I’ve added the associated widget over in the sidebar.
Oh, and it looks like I’m getting sent to work at Kabul in October to finish out the year there. Which is pretty exciting. It’ll be a nice change of scenery. Kabul is a pretty huge city, and it’s 3000 years old. Take that, old stuff in America.
Oh, AND: some new photos.
I’m in Billboard! Neat.
ALSO: Here’s an interview where Conrad says some nice things about me. Thanks, C-rad.
Tonight, ham hocks were served in the DFAC (Dining Facility), which I found sort of hilarious for a couple of reasons:
I wonder if the muslims who work in the DFAC took the night off.
Yesterday was Afghan Independence Day, and things got a little bit heated here at Salerno. I’ll let the Associated Press do the honors.
Everyone I know is fine. I’m afraid I can’t say the same for the Khost Police Force folks who were guarding the gate.
It’s a strange feeling. I’m sitting here at my desk complaining about the interface of our new staff website, and less than a mile away, several people felt compelled to strap explosives to themselves and blow themselves up, killing several other people in the process.
The other day I saw a Navy guy here at the fob. “Navy?!” I said, incredulously. “Afghanistan is landlocked! Navy?!”
Then he pistol-whipped me, and stepped on my teeth.
Not really. But I did see some sailors here.
There is no faxing in Afghanistan. I suppose it’s not secure enough, what with that raw data flowing over the phone line. So, any handwritten documents must be scanned and emailed. Scanned and emailed. Scanned and emailed.
One of the two functioning scanners in our office has the pleasure of being connected to my laptop. Therefore, I do a lot of… scanning and emailing. For myself and for my coworkers. To make things more fun, whenever I scan something for someone in the office, I title the email with a HILARIOUS PUN involving the word “scan.” So far I’ve used:
…and probably more that I’ve forgotten. This is the part where you comment with more scan-related puns!
