I know everything there is to know about military air travel now. Why? Because 80% of my time here at Bagram Airfield has been spent schlepping my gear between the Rotary Wing (that’s Army for “helicopter”) Terminal and the regular MILAIR PAX (that’s Army for “passenger”) Terminal, trying to get a flight, ANY flight, out of here and to FOB Salerno to begin my job in earnest. So it typically goes like this:

Get up at 0630, leave the pitch dark b-hut (more on those later) in which the education center staff has been kind enough to let me sleep, enter the blazing, blinding sun and walk to the Infantry Village Central shower facility. Shower (excellent water pressure, but watch that hot water (it will melt your face)), get breakfast (I saw an Egyptian soldier eating grits!) walk to the Rotary Wing Terminal to see if there are any missions to Salerno with “Space A” (that’s Army for “Space Available”). Recieve a “showtime” (that’s Army for “the time that you need to be there”), then come back to the Education Center to help students while i wait for my showtime. Go back to the Rotary Wing Terminal half an hour before showtime to ask again about the mission. Remove my IBA (Improved Body Armor) and Kevlar (helmet) from my sea bag (sort of like a duffel backpack); it’s required for helicopter passengers. Wait an hour. Hear an announcement that the “wheels  up time” has been moved ahead an hour. Wait another hour. Hear an announcement that the mission has been cancelled. Pack everything back up and walk 15 minutes to the MILAIR PAX terminal. Look for a flight to Salerno on the board. See one. Wait until the posted showtime. Hear an announcement that the roll call for the flight to Salerno has been moved ahead two hours. Wait two hours. Hear another announcement that the flight to Salerno has been “canxed” (cancelled). See another flight to Salerno on the board. Wait for that one. Canxed again. Walk back to the b-hut, sleep for a few hours, and repeat the whole process.

This has been my life for the past week. I’m not complaining. Just stating facts. I’m still getting paid. But it sure would be nice to be reunited with my trunk full of stuff that I sent to Salerno from Alabama. And to have my own desk. And set up my room.

Well, I’m off to have a coffee, then check on the STOL (Short TakeOff and Landing) flight schedule, operated by everyone’s favorite mercenaries, Blackwater.

The Italians arrived yesterday! Their uniforms are black. Way to go, Italy.

“If we’d let the Russians win, this would be THEIR problem.”

*Technically it was a Portajohn.

It’s been an eventful week! A week of fast and furious meetings, vaccinations, and fingerprinting in Heidelberg, then a late night flight from Ramstein to Bagram AF in Afghanistan, which is where I am now. I didn’t end up going to Kyrgyzstan, but after 8 hours on a C-17, I’m not too upset about missing out on another 8 hours. I’m stuck here at Bagram for the time being, but I’m learning a lot helping out at the Education Center here. Bagram is a huge airfield, with a population of something like 20,000 soldiers and civilians. There are soldiers from all over the world; so far I’ve seen troops from You-Forgot-Poland, Sweden, France, and maybe some more that I actually did forget.

The field rep here took me in a truck around the perimeter of the base. Two things I never thought I’d see:

1) Rusting ruins of Soviet MIGs and tanks, sitting where they broke down/crashed/were blown up in the 80s.

2) Opium poppies growing wild, all over the place.

Photos to come.

I fly out to Germany tomorrow at OH-ONE-HUNDRED-AND-TEN HOUR MINUTES. That is how the army man says the times. I’ll be in Heidelberg for a week of training.

Here are some photos I took while here at my parents’ place. I used Photoshop CS3’s fancypants web gallery generator, just to see how it would look. Most people are confused about where to find the controls for the slideshow. They’re in the bottom right corner of your window. The next gallery will be have a more intuitive interface, I promise.

I’ve been at my folks’ place here in Jemison since last Friday. They’re building their retirement castle here, out in the sticks, so I’ve been sleeping on an air mattress in the nearly-finished house. I’m pretty sure I never want to build my own house. Seems like a colossal pain.

Packing for the trip to Germany, then Afghanistan has proved to be a logistical challenge. I’m gonna have to take a minimal amount of stuff with me to Germany, since I’ll be flying on military aircraft once I’m there, and I can only take what I can carry. The rest of my six months worth of socks and raw almonds will be packed into a trunk and mailed to the FOB in the ’stan, to meet me when I get there.

I’m thinking of buying a Nintendo DS. Anybody have one? Are they fun?

I am an old man. When I was a boy, the 360 kilobytes of space on a floppy disk was enough room for everything: text adventure games, text adventure games I’d written myself in BASIC, the spreadsheet showing shod/unshod horses, a list of people who owed me dung, a database to keep track of how much hardtack was left in the larder, and backgammon.

This is why I am continually amazed by the amount of 1s and 0s that can be stored in an increasingly small space. I just bought a 320GB hard drive that is literally the size of a passport! That’s probably why it’s called My Passport!

Apparently I’ll be flying to Afghanistan from Germany via Kyrgyzstan. Which is a country that I sort of forgot even existed. And know absolutely nothing about. But I’m going there, if only as a waypoint.

Today I’ve been busy:  rounding up my belongings from different parts of town, packing, renting a trailer to take all my stuff to Alabama, and setting up this blog. Also the header had to be designed which included time spent downloading “grunge” brushes for Photoshop because that was the idea that I had.

I’ll be in Nashville and available for free lunches/dinners/drinks until Friday morning. And when I say “free” I mean to say that everyone should buy me things. All the time. But especially before I move to Afghanistan for six months.